Hello,
I am still here! :) I don't even know if I have any faithful readers; but I am sorry I have been absent on my blog.
Life has been busy - as it is for everyone - and I have been experiencing some real challenges, real joys and blessings in disguise ;)
I hope I will be able to start up on my blog posting again soon - and try to make my entries more personal, maybe a tad shorter and filled with some updates about life!
Living daily because of God's grace! :)
More soon!
love, Missy
Wednesday, April 3, 2013
Friday, October 19, 2012
What does my tantrum reveal?
When I revealed to my old co-workers during lunch that I would be resigning and moving back to New England (this had been a long and difficult process for me and my husband) there was a lot of excitement in the room from everyone! Until I was asked by a particular co-worker...
“What will you be doing for work?” she seemed to ask accusingly.
Sheepishly, I replied “ I won’t have to go to work.” I was feeling so blessed that I would get to be a stay at home wife; and hopefully a stay at home mother (almost everyone knows we have struggled with infertility for about 5 years at that point) ...
I still have a hard time forgetting my co-workers response...
“Ugh, I hate you” she said
My heart sank.
I felt shame.
If I remember right, this co-worker was about 5 years younger than me, was about 2 years out of college; had been married about 1 year; and had been trying to get pregnant for a few months, without success - and I remember hearing her complain and sigh about how she was never going to get pregnant and would tell the whole office she drank wine because, thats right, she wasn’t pregnant, again! sigh... She complained about her husband and how he would never be done with graduate school and she would never get to be a stay at home mom. When I got a newer car (the nicest car I have ever had, and it wasn’t “new” ) she complained that she couldn’t believe I had one and she ended up getting a new car a few weeks later.
It really made me so mad to hear her complain about her life and how imperfect everything was, especially when she would compare it to me - and whine about how everything was “working out” for me and not for her. I felt like I was watching an adult throwing a temper tantrum...
I never knew how to respond and I felt bad for her, I felt bad about myself around her, and I felt shame about any successes I might have shared with her.
I wanted to be her friend; but I always felt prickly around her.
*****
I have been reflecting on this lately; because I have had a rough month of disappointments... and I was thinking about my reactions and how they might be affecting others around me.
Do I throw adult temper tantrums?
How do others see me when I do?
How do I make them feel?
And most importantly; how does it reflect Christ when I throw a tantrum?
I imagine most people see their life; and it really doesn’t reflect what they thought their life would look like.
When I think back to my co-worker and I hear her say she hates me... what I am hearing is that she is mad my life (from her perspective) is turning out better than hers.
The truth is; I struggle with comparing my life to someone else's and being upset and jealous of them. I make the assumption their life is so much prettier and easier. I wonder how many times in my heart I have hated someone because, from my perspective, their life is turing out better than mine.
As a Christian, I believe God is in control. I believe He is good; and therefore nothing He gives or takes away is “bad”. I could write a huge list of things with my life I complain about- both publicly and inwardly for only myself to hear. However, my goal here today - is to talk about how to counter this attitude.
I think the best thing I can do to counter this attitude is to take it to God.
Take it to God first... when I am sad, confused, frustrated, worried, ... whatever... take it to God first. It is almost always my nature to complain to my husband, call my mom, tell a friend... to seek counsel (& empathy) from those I hold in high esteem; throw a tantrum!
I should get on my knees, take it to God first and find out what God’s word says about this, before I react emotionally and involve others. Find out what is true. This will not only build my relationship with God; but it will help shape my heart and thoughts towards what God finds important.
Learning what is true will help me live my life in a loving and honoring way to God, myself and others.
So, even though being told you are hated hurts a lot; I am humbled by my former co-workers reaction... it was an honest reflection of what I feel so many times when I see others who’s life seems to be “working out” so much better than mine.
As I ask myself, what is true... I remember God is good; and His ways are much better than mine! My goal in life is to glorify God and enjoy Him (and His will for my life) forever... regardless of the circumstances. The struggles and the joys. I aim to reflect God’s glory, grace and mercy to others - by sharing what He has done, what is good and being content no matter the circumstances. From a woodchuck eating all my peas to a long journey of infertility. Show God’s grace and be content no matter the circumstances.
I want to try to remember ... what do my tantrums say about what I believe? What do the words I say and actions I display, say about who I think is in control? How do I make others feel when I talk about my life or theirs? Is God glorified or mocked by my words and actions?
In closing I want to leave you with a couple verses for reflection and rejoice with my former co-worker, who is now a stay at home mother of two, while her husband is done with graduate school and working. :)
********
"Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen" Ephesians 4:29
"Therefore, my dear brothers, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain." 1 Corinthians 15:58
"Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn" Romans 12:15
"We put no stumbling block in anyone’s path, so that our ministry will not be discredited. Rather, as servants of God we commend ourselves in every way: in great endurance; in troubles, hardships and distresses; in beatings, imprisonments and riots; in hard work, sleepless nights and hunger; in purity, understanding, patience and kindness; in the Holy Spirit and in sincere love; in truthful speech and in the power of God; with weapons of righteousness in the right hand and in the left; through glory and dishonor, bad report and good report; genuine, yet regarded as impostors; known, yet regarded as unknown; dying, and yet we live on; beaten, and yet not killed; sorrowful, yet always rejoicing; poor, yet making many rich; having nothing, and yet possessing everything." 2 Corinthians 6:3-10
Thursday, July 5, 2012
Magazines are perishable...
I was listening to a teaching on the topic of perishable and imperishable recently. And the teacher made some references to 1 Peter. One of my favorite books in the Bible is 1 & 2 Peter. I think I just enjoy how the message of the gospel is delivered in these books; and I was encouraged to re-read some passages; and really contemplate what it is that is perishable and what is imperishable.
__________________
I find myself on the edge of being a hoarder of magazines, its true - I just love looking at them and day dream about what I could do with my house or garden; love looking at all the things I could make for dinner & dessert, or all the things I could do to transform my hair and body to look fabulous. Its fun at first, but then as I collect all these ideas - I get pretty tired and frustrated by all the work and money it would take to accomplish these great ideas I have decided to do, so I put it off and wait until tomorrow, maybe... And then its tomorrow - I check the mail and devour the new magazine that arrived - and I have all these new ideas - which are fun and exciting... I think you get the idea. Maybe you do that too? with something else?
I also struggle with letting go of all these magazines once I have "finished" with them .... what if THAT magazine I just threw away was the magazine I needed to transform my house, my kitchen, my body... and I just tossed it aside - to fill up the trash... (which I have an obsession with trying to recycle everything and I hate feeling like I might be cluttering up a landfill or recycle place with all my stuff.... thats a story for another day- ha!)
This might seem like a silly example to you - but this is one of the things I was thinking about when the teacher asked us to think about something we hold on to; that is perishable.
In reflection of this, I was thinking, there are a lot of things in my life - that I work very, very hard to keep... that are perishable. And the things that are imperishable are freely given to me enjoy.
I find I focus a lot of my time, energy and frustration over keeping the house clean, working, money, student loan debt, exercising, struggles with my weight, struggles with relationships, other people (especially how others drive) the future, politics, weather ... I am usually frustrated over how dissatisfied these things actually make me and how they end up not looking like anything I want them to look like, even when I try really hard! But all these things are perishable... one day they will all be gone!
My hope is that as the Lord continues to show me I have been focused on the perishable, it will be replaced by pure joy in the imperishable, and that my heart will continue to be conformed to a great rejoicing; because the Lord has given me new hope through the resurrection - and an inheritance that can never perish! This is where true joy and satisfaction flows from. So, even as everything I have today, including my magazines full of paint colors and hair styles - are taken away tomorrow I will still be filled with inexpressible joy over all the Lord has done for me!
I leave you with a few passages that have spoken to me:
Job 19:25-27
I know that my Redeemer lives,
and that in the end he will stand upon the earth.
And after my skin has been destroyed,
yet in my flesh I will see God;
I myself will see him
with my own eyes —I, and not another.
How my heart yearns within me!
1 Peter 1:3-9
Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade —kept in heaven for you, who through faith are shielded by God’s power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time. In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire —may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, for you are receiving the goal of your faith, the salvation of your souls.
Monday, June 18, 2012
Seven years
Seven years ago today - I married my husband.
I confess it has been the most challenging - yet most rewarding experience of my life. When we decided to get married - it was exciting and fun and new. But after a while, I found myself asking why am I getting married to this person again... Whats in it for me? Will I be happy?
As I get older (shutter) and only by the grace of God - I am finding out that living life here on earth is not about getting whats in it for me or making sure I am happy; as the world would try to have me believe. And marriage is no different. It must be Christ-centered, not self or man-centered.
Below is a quote from Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas. We have read this book several times; and I encourage anyone (especially singles) to read this book and embrace the concept that the marriage relationship is second to your relationship with Christ - it's about being holy, not happy.
As I continue on this journey of marriage - it is my hope and prayer that God will continue to use us - to spurn one another on. I am so grateful that God has put me with someone who I am to love and forgive, who I can serve and pray for - pointing one another to a reconciling Creator. Of course I have days where I make it all about me and severe disagreements - and forget that I are supposed to picture Christ to my husband. I'll even admit that sometimes I resolve in my heart, that I will not be loving, forgiving, serve or pray until he does first... But I believe its through those experiences as well, that I am humbled and brought to my knees. I am so glad that Christ didn't wait until I was perfect and cleaned up before he welcomed me into his family and extended forgiveness, love, mercy and grace.
I confess it has been the most challenging - yet most rewarding experience of my life. When we decided to get married - it was exciting and fun and new. But after a while, I found myself asking why am I getting married to this person again... Whats in it for me? Will I be happy?
As I get older (shutter) and only by the grace of God - I am finding out that living life here on earth is not about getting whats in it for me or making sure I am happy; as the world would try to have me believe. And marriage is no different. It must be Christ-centered, not self or man-centered.
Below is a quote from Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas. We have read this book several times; and I encourage anyone (especially singles) to read this book and embrace the concept that the marriage relationship is second to your relationship with Christ - it's about being holy, not happy.
"For the Christian, marriage is a penultimate rather than an ultimate reality. Because of this, both of us can find even more meaning by pursuing God together and by recognizing that he is the one who alone can fill the spiritual ache in our souls. We can work at making our home life more pleasant and peaceable; we can explore ways to keep sex fresh and fun; we can make superficial changes that will preserve at least the appearance of respect and politeness. But what both of us crave more than anything else is to be intimately close to the God who made us. If that relationship is right, we won't make such severe demands on our marriage, asking each other, expecting each other to compensate for spiritual emptiness."
As I continue on this journey of marriage - it is my hope and prayer that God will continue to use us - to spurn one another on. I am so grateful that God has put me with someone who I am to love and forgive, who I can serve and pray for - pointing one another to a reconciling Creator. Of course I have days where I make it all about me and severe disagreements - and forget that I are supposed to picture Christ to my husband. I'll even admit that sometimes I resolve in my heart, that I will not be loving, forgiving, serve or pray until he does first... But I believe its through those experiences as well, that I am humbled and brought to my knees. I am so glad that Christ didn't wait until I was perfect and cleaned up before he welcomed me into his family and extended forgiveness, love, mercy and grace.
Monday, May 28, 2012
Thanksgiving through tithe
When tax time was upon us - and we started to receive our tax papers in the mail; we started to receive our giving statements from the churches we had tithed to last year.
I have always struggled with tithing.
I didn't really grow up going to church and I do not ever remember hearing a sermon on tithing or been taught about tithing. So I just didn't know about it. Before I met my husband - I was never really a member at a church and thought tithing was something that members, who had extra money to "donate" did. And since I was not a member; and certainly did not have anything extra (nor could I understand how any one did), I didn't tithe on a regular basis.
Yes, I did tithe sometimes - when I felt guilty as the offering plate was coming down my row. Or when the thought of how does the Pastor pay his mortgage and feed his children - popped into my head.
I have always struggled with tithing. There have been several times I have asked my husband - do we really have to tithe??? That money could do so much more for us... fill our oil tank, pay off some loans, allow for a bigger car payment for a nicer car, pay for a vacation, buy curtains, allow me to buy gifts and oh, iced coffee! (Funny how at first the things I struggle with wanting to spend our tithe money seems so practical; and then went into the other "fun" things I think I need... like my obsession with coffee)
But as I did our taxes; and reflected on just how much we tithed this last year; and realized, while yes that could have paid off a serious chunk of student loans; that money was never our's to begin with. Our money belongs to God. And we were giving it back to Him; with thanksgiving for all He has provided for us.
As I reflect on our last year; we were able to fill our oil tank and keep our house warm and have hot water. We paid down some loans. We still have student loan debt, but it keeps going down. I do have a nice car (so I can stop complaining - although in years past I felt lucky to even have a car, never mind the one I have now. Oh how much I have to be thankful for!)... We ARE going on a vacation this year (No, it isn't to Spain or Ireland like I daydream about, but it is to see family, and I am SO thankful we able to.... in our nice car). Guess what, I made curtains for our kitchen! :) No, I didn't buy them from a fancy home decor store like I wanted too and I still have 8 windows to make buy fabric and make curtains for - but I am thankful the Lord has provided a home I can decorate; be it slowly and with my own hands! I still am able to give gifts to people... I would spend my husbands entire paycheck on other people if I (he) wasn't careful; but I am thankful the Lord has provided the ability for me to buy somethings, make some things and give away things we have acquired for free - to satisfy this desire. And yes, I have even been able to buy coffee... probably more than I should. :)
Before I started tithing; while I was in college and when I lived on my own for a while; I always felt like I struggled to pay the bills, eat and "have fun". And I worked two jobs and felt like I never was making enough. I was really overwhelmed with the idea that life is all about paying bills and no peace.
Since I have been married and tithing; I have realized that while; we still have bills and struggle with all kinds of things - there is a change in my heart and mind set about these things. I remember the Lord is in control; and everything comes from Him. And when I am thankful - and give to Him first; it seems like the frustrations and anxiety over all that other stuff fades into the back ground. I am not saying that hardships disappear, that we don't struggle over tough decisions we have to make or that bills are always paid... but what I am saying is that putting first things first - and being thankful to God for all that He has provided has shifted my priorities from feeling like... we are never ever going to make enough - to realizing God truly always gives us enough. (Even when it doesn't feel like it)
I had a note written in my bible from a sermon - "Don't be so focused on what God hasn't provided for you yet - be focused on what He has blessed you with". I think this can be true in so many aspects in life, but I need to remember to be thankful for the blessings of being able to pay our bills and live day by day relatively worry free in regards to what we will eat, what we will wear and where we will sleep.
For this I give thanks.
I have always struggled with tithing.
I didn't really grow up going to church and I do not ever remember hearing a sermon on tithing or been taught about tithing. So I just didn't know about it. Before I met my husband - I was never really a member at a church and thought tithing was something that members, who had extra money to "donate" did. And since I was not a member; and certainly did not have anything extra (nor could I understand how any one did), I didn't tithe on a regular basis.
Yes, I did tithe sometimes - when I felt guilty as the offering plate was coming down my row. Or when the thought of how does the Pastor pay his mortgage and feed his children - popped into my head.
I have always struggled with tithing. There have been several times I have asked my husband - do we really have to tithe??? That money could do so much more for us... fill our oil tank, pay off some loans, allow for a bigger car payment for a nicer car, pay for a vacation, buy curtains, allow me to buy gifts and oh, iced coffee! (Funny how at first the things I struggle with wanting to spend our tithe money seems so practical; and then went into the other "fun" things I think I need... like my obsession with coffee)
But as I did our taxes; and reflected on just how much we tithed this last year; and realized, while yes that could have paid off a serious chunk of student loans; that money was never our's to begin with. Our money belongs to God. And we were giving it back to Him; with thanksgiving for all He has provided for us.
As I reflect on our last year; we were able to fill our oil tank and keep our house warm and have hot water. We paid down some loans. We still have student loan debt, but it keeps going down. I do have a nice car (so I can stop complaining - although in years past I felt lucky to even have a car, never mind the one I have now. Oh how much I have to be thankful for!)... We ARE going on a vacation this year (No, it isn't to Spain or Ireland like I daydream about, but it is to see family, and I am SO thankful we able to.... in our nice car). Guess what, I made curtains for our kitchen! :) No, I didn't buy them from a fancy home decor store like I wanted too and I still have 8 windows to make buy fabric and make curtains for - but I am thankful the Lord has provided a home I can decorate; be it slowly and with my own hands! I still am able to give gifts to people... I would spend my husbands entire paycheck on other people if I (he) wasn't careful; but I am thankful the Lord has provided the ability for me to buy somethings, make some things and give away things we have acquired for free - to satisfy this desire. And yes, I have even been able to buy coffee... probably more than I should. :)
Before I started tithing; while I was in college and when I lived on my own for a while; I always felt like I struggled to pay the bills, eat and "have fun". And I worked two jobs and felt like I never was making enough. I was really overwhelmed with the idea that life is all about paying bills and no peace.
Since I have been married and tithing; I have realized that while; we still have bills and struggle with all kinds of things - there is a change in my heart and mind set about these things. I remember the Lord is in control; and everything comes from Him. And when I am thankful - and give to Him first; it seems like the frustrations and anxiety over all that other stuff fades into the back ground. I am not saying that hardships disappear, that we don't struggle over tough decisions we have to make or that bills are always paid... but what I am saying is that putting first things first - and being thankful to God for all that He has provided has shifted my priorities from feeling like... we are never ever going to make enough - to realizing God truly always gives us enough. (Even when it doesn't feel like it)
I had a note written in my bible from a sermon - "Don't be so focused on what God hasn't provided for you yet - be focused on what He has blessed you with". I think this can be true in so many aspects in life, but I need to remember to be thankful for the blessings of being able to pay our bills and live day by day relatively worry free in regards to what we will eat, what we will wear and where we will sleep.
For this I give thanks.
Tuesday, May 8, 2012
How many times shall I forgive?
Last week, someone I love very much; confessed of sin against me and asked me to forgive them... again.
My initial response when they asked my forgiveness was to avoid eye contact and have a look of utter disappointment at being hurt again. As my friend finished their plea; I sat silent and they turned to walk away - but I had a tug in my heart; and I felt the holy spirit nudging me... reminding me; do not give Satan a foot hold.
As a believer - and especially when another believer comes confessing and asking for forgiveness - my response should be- to forgive. How many times shall I forgive my brother - I echo Peter's question to the Lord in Matthew 18 and I was reminded of Jesus' reply, "I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times."
So as my friend walked away in shame. I stopped them. Looked them in the eye, embraced them - and said, yes I forgive you.
My friend uttered, but why do you continue to forgive me. I said because I am commanded to. Thats what grace is.
I felt so honored to truly forgive; and extend mercy and grace to my friend - and watch the weight of their shame - conquered by love and true forgiveness fall off their shoulder. Praise God for this gift.
I wanted to end this blog with a passage from Ephesians. :)
Love, Missy
Ephesians 4
As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. There is one body and one Spirit —just as you were called to one hope when you were called — one Lord, one faith, one baptism; one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all.
But to each one of us grace has been given as Christ apportioned it. This is why it says:
“When he ascended on high,
he led captives in his train
and gave gifts to men.”
(What does “he ascended” mean except that he also descended to the lower, earthly regions? He who descended is the very one who ascended higher than all the heavens, in order to fill the whole universe.) It was he who gave some to be apostles, some to be prophets, some to be evangelists, and some to be pastors and teachers, to prepare God’s people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ.
Then we will no longer be infants, tossed back and forth by the waves, and blown here and there by every wind of teaching and by the cunning and craftiness of men in their deceitful scheming. Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into him who is the Head, that is, Christ. From him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work.
Living as Children of Light
So I tell you this, and insist on it in the Lord, that you must no longer live as the Gentiles do, in the futility of their thinking. They are darkened in their understanding and separated from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them due to the hardening of their hearts. Having lost all sensitivity, they have given themselves over to sensuality so as to indulge in every kind of impurity, with a continual lust for more.
You, however, did not come to know Christ that way. Surely you heard of him and were taught in him in accordance with the truth that is in Jesus. You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.
Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to his neighbor, for we are all members of one body. “In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold. He who has been stealing must steal no longer, but must work, doing something useful with his own hands, that he may have something to share with those in need.
Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
My initial response when they asked my forgiveness was to avoid eye contact and have a look of utter disappointment at being hurt again. As my friend finished their plea; I sat silent and they turned to walk away - but I had a tug in my heart; and I felt the holy spirit nudging me... reminding me; do not give Satan a foot hold.
As a believer - and especially when another believer comes confessing and asking for forgiveness - my response should be- to forgive. How many times shall I forgive my brother - I echo Peter's question to the Lord in Matthew 18 and I was reminded of Jesus' reply, "I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times."
So as my friend walked away in shame. I stopped them. Looked them in the eye, embraced them - and said, yes I forgive you.
My friend uttered, but why do you continue to forgive me. I said because I am commanded to. Thats what grace is.
I felt so honored to truly forgive; and extend mercy and grace to my friend - and watch the weight of their shame - conquered by love and true forgiveness fall off their shoulder. Praise God for this gift.
I wanted to end this blog with a passage from Ephesians. :)
Love, Missy
Ephesians 4
As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. There is one body and one Spirit —just as you were called to one hope when you were called — one Lord, one faith, one baptism; one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all.
But to each one of us grace has been given as Christ apportioned it. This is why it says:
“When he ascended on high,
he led captives in his train
and gave gifts to men.”
(What does “he ascended” mean except that he also descended to the lower, earthly regions? He who descended is the very one who ascended higher than all the heavens, in order to fill the whole universe.) It was he who gave some to be apostles, some to be prophets, some to be evangelists, and some to be pastors and teachers, to prepare God’s people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ.
Then we will no longer be infants, tossed back and forth by the waves, and blown here and there by every wind of teaching and by the cunning and craftiness of men in their deceitful scheming. Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into him who is the Head, that is, Christ. From him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work.
Living as Children of Light
So I tell you this, and insist on it in the Lord, that you must no longer live as the Gentiles do, in the futility of their thinking. They are darkened in their understanding and separated from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them due to the hardening of their hearts. Having lost all sensitivity, they have given themselves over to sensuality so as to indulge in every kind of impurity, with a continual lust for more.
You, however, did not come to know Christ that way. Surely you heard of him and were taught in him in accordance with the truth that is in Jesus. You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.
Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to his neighbor, for we are all members of one body. “In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold. He who has been stealing must steal no longer, but must work, doing something useful with his own hands, that he may have something to share with those in need.
Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
Monday, April 2, 2012
Losing weight - one day at a time
If you know me personally; you know that I have struggled with my weight my whole life. In fact, I have been considered morbidly obese most of my adult life. This has been a great source of pain and shame for me. It is not something I can hide from others - its out there for everyone to see.
In the last 4-5 years I have lost about 70 pounds. By changing my diet, exercising and way of thinking about being fit and giving it to the Lord. It certainly isn't at the speed of some reality television shows - and it has stalled a little at times; with several set backs that have required U-turns as well as some rest for two different injuries.
I have started eating less food and healthier food. Which at times is challenging both the cooking part as well as the budget part. But we have made it work; and I am thankful we are able to buy healthy food on a weekly basis.
I have started exercising - regularly; and hard. I think I used to (and still struggle with it) think that I can't exercise too hard. That I would hurt myself or cause myself to have a heart attack. But I have found that I really benefit the most from a hard workout that causes me to sweat and gets me out doors. Gone are the days of being afraid of what people think about a heavy girl outside working out. This I am truly thankful for.
I have also been giving this issue to the Lord. This might seem kind of weird - as I used to think I shouldn't have to pray to the Lord for help with eating and exercising; right. Thats weird. But its true. I have had to come to the point of recognizing that my behavior was in fact sinful. I have had to ask the Lord to forgive my unhealthy desires for food, for letting it become an idol. I have had to ask the Lord to forgive my desire to be idle and my entitled attitude towards being allowed to relax (with a bowl of ice cream and an episode of Golden Girls). I have felt His mercy upon me as I have brought these issues to him; and not let them stay deep in my soul - tugging my heart.
But I wanted to share, that something happened this last week that I have not been able to do in about 8 years. I purchased a new pair of jeans in the regular sized missies department, not the "woman" (aka, plus size) department! This might not sound like a huge deal to some - and I assume that if you have never been in a position where the size you need is not even sold in stores; it might be difficult to know how very exciting this is! I remember when I needed to purchase some new pants - and I went to the fat girl store; and they didn't sell the size I needed in the store... I had to purchase them online. I remember thinking- I wonder if I will ever be able to purchase pants in a regular sized store again. I always hoped I would, but lacked the hope and confidence that the work I have put in just wasn't enough... so this was a big week for me! It gave me hope and encouragement.
I still have a long way to go as far as weight loss; I still have not achieved my desire of being fit enough (as well as light enough) to run daily; and I still love ice cream, cream & sugar in my coffee, and popcorn... and I still struggle with asking the Lord to help me in this area of my life. But I am thankful that over the last few years the Lord has helped me accomplished some goals and that when I step back I can see that I have made some significant progress in regards to getting in shape. For this I am truly thankful!
Its easy for me to assume that nothing is happening - since I am so driven by desiring to see & have instant results. But day in and day out I am finding that even small accomplishments can keep you on track... and this week proved to me, that while it may be slower than I would like or society would say proves I am dedicated - I am on a weight loss journey... and I am filled with hope that I can accomplish getting in shape... one day at a time; and with the Lords help.
I found this passage encouraging as I struggle with sin; even my sin of overeating and desire to be idle.
Hebrews 12:1-13
Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.
In your struggle against sin, you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood. And you have forgotten that word of encouragement that addresses you as sons:
“My son, do not make light of the Lord’s discipline,
and do not lose heart when he rebukes you,
because the Lord disciplines those he loves,
and he punishes everyone he accepts as a son.”
Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as sons. For what son is not disciplined by his father? If you are not disciplined (and everyone undergoes discipline), then you are illegitimate children and not true sons. Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of our spirits and live! Our fathers disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness. No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.
Therefore, strengthen your feeble arms and weak knees. “Make level paths for your feet,” so that the lame may not be disabled, but rather healed.
In the last 4-5 years I have lost about 70 pounds. By changing my diet, exercising and way of thinking about being fit and giving it to the Lord. It certainly isn't at the speed of some reality television shows - and it has stalled a little at times; with several set backs that have required U-turns as well as some rest for two different injuries.
I have started eating less food and healthier food. Which at times is challenging both the cooking part as well as the budget part. But we have made it work; and I am thankful we are able to buy healthy food on a weekly basis.
I have started exercising - regularly; and hard. I think I used to (and still struggle with it) think that I can't exercise too hard. That I would hurt myself or cause myself to have a heart attack. But I have found that I really benefit the most from a hard workout that causes me to sweat and gets me out doors. Gone are the days of being afraid of what people think about a heavy girl outside working out. This I am truly thankful for.
I have also been giving this issue to the Lord. This might seem kind of weird - as I used to think I shouldn't have to pray to the Lord for help with eating and exercising; right. Thats weird. But its true. I have had to come to the point of recognizing that my behavior was in fact sinful. I have had to ask the Lord to forgive my unhealthy desires for food, for letting it become an idol. I have had to ask the Lord to forgive my desire to be idle and my entitled attitude towards being allowed to relax (with a bowl of ice cream and an episode of Golden Girls). I have felt His mercy upon me as I have brought these issues to him; and not let them stay deep in my soul - tugging my heart.
But I wanted to share, that something happened this last week that I have not been able to do in about 8 years. I purchased a new pair of jeans in the regular sized missies department, not the "woman" (aka, plus size) department! This might not sound like a huge deal to some - and I assume that if you have never been in a position where the size you need is not even sold in stores; it might be difficult to know how very exciting this is! I remember when I needed to purchase some new pants - and I went to the fat girl store; and they didn't sell the size I needed in the store... I had to purchase them online. I remember thinking- I wonder if I will ever be able to purchase pants in a regular sized store again. I always hoped I would, but lacked the hope and confidence that the work I have put in just wasn't enough... so this was a big week for me! It gave me hope and encouragement.
I still have a long way to go as far as weight loss; I still have not achieved my desire of being fit enough (as well as light enough) to run daily; and I still love ice cream, cream & sugar in my coffee, and popcorn... and I still struggle with asking the Lord to help me in this area of my life. But I am thankful that over the last few years the Lord has helped me accomplished some goals and that when I step back I can see that I have made some significant progress in regards to getting in shape. For this I am truly thankful!
Its easy for me to assume that nothing is happening - since I am so driven by desiring to see & have instant results. But day in and day out I am finding that even small accomplishments can keep you on track... and this week proved to me, that while it may be slower than I would like or society would say proves I am dedicated - I am on a weight loss journey... and I am filled with hope that I can accomplish getting in shape... one day at a time; and with the Lords help.
I found this passage encouraging as I struggle with sin; even my sin of overeating and desire to be idle.
Hebrews 12:1-13
Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.
In your struggle against sin, you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood. And you have forgotten that word of encouragement that addresses you as sons:
“My son, do not make light of the Lord’s discipline,
and do not lose heart when he rebukes you,
because the Lord disciplines those he loves,
and he punishes everyone he accepts as a son.”
Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as sons. For what son is not disciplined by his father? If you are not disciplined (and everyone undergoes discipline), then you are illegitimate children and not true sons. Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of our spirits and live! Our fathers disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness. No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.
Therefore, strengthen your feeble arms and weak knees. “Make level paths for your feet,” so that the lame may not be disabled, but rather healed.
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