Thanksgiving through tithe

When tax time was upon us - and we started to receive our tax papers in the mail; we started to receive our giving statements from the churches we had tithed to last year.

I have always struggled with tithing.

I didn't really grow up going to church and I do not ever remember hearing a sermon on tithing or been taught about tithing. So I just didn't know about it. Before I met my husband - I was never really a member at a church and thought tithing was something that members, who had extra money to "donate" did. And since I was not a member; and certainly did not have anything extra (nor could I understand how any one did), I didn't tithe on a regular basis.

Yes, I did tithe sometimes - when I felt guilty as the offering plate was coming down my row. Or when the thought of how does the Pastor pay his mortgage and feed his children - popped into my head.

I have always struggled with tithing. There have been several times I have asked my husband - do we really have to tithe??? That money could do so much more for us... fill our oil tank, pay off some loans, allow for a bigger car payment for a nicer car, pay for a vacation, buy curtains, allow me to buy gifts and oh, iced coffee!  (Funny how at first the things I struggle with wanting to spend our tithe money seems so practical; and then went into the other "fun" things I think I need... like my obsession with coffee)

But as I did our taxes; and reflected on just how much we tithed this last year; and realized, while yes that could have paid off a serious chunk of student loans; that money was never our's to begin with. Our money belongs to God. And we were giving it back to Him; with thanksgiving for all He has provided for us.

As I reflect on our last year; we were able to fill our oil tank and keep our house warm and have hot water. We paid down some loans. We still have student loan debt, but it keeps going down. I do have a nice car (so I can stop complaining - although in years past I felt lucky to even have a car, never mind the one I have now. Oh how much I have to be thankful for!)... We ARE going on a vacation this year (No, it isn't to Spain or Ireland like I daydream about, but it is to see family, and I am SO thankful we able to.... in our nice car). Guess what, I made curtains for our kitchen! :) No, I didn't buy them from a fancy home decor store like I wanted too and I still have 8 windows to make buy fabric and make curtains for - but I am thankful the Lord has provided a home I can decorate; be it slowly and with my own hands! I still am able to give gifts to people... I would spend my husbands entire paycheck on other people if I (he) wasn't careful; but I am thankful the Lord has provided the ability for me to buy somethings, make some things and give away things we have acquired for free - to satisfy this desire. And yes, I have even been able to buy coffee... probably more than I should. :)

Before I started tithing; while I was in college and when I lived on my own for a while; I always felt like I struggled to pay the bills, eat and "have fun". And I worked two jobs and felt like I never was making enough. I was really overwhelmed with the idea that life is all about paying bills and no peace.

Since I have been married and tithing; I have realized that while; we still have bills and struggle with all kinds of things - there is a change in my heart and mind set about these things. I remember the Lord is in control; and everything comes from Him. And when I am thankful - and give to Him first; it seems like the frustrations and anxiety over all that other stuff fades into the back ground. I am not saying that hardships disappear, that we don't struggle over tough decisions we have to make or that bills are always paid... but what I am saying is that putting first things first - and being thankful to God for all that He has provided has shifted my priorities from feeling like... we are never ever going to make enough - to realizing God truly always gives us enough. (Even when it doesn't feel like it)

I had a note written in my bible from a sermon - "Don't be so focused on what God hasn't provided for you yet - be focused on what He has blessed you with". I think this can be true in so many aspects in life, but I need to remember to be thankful for the blessings of being able to pay our bills and live day by day relatively worry free in regards to what we will eat, what we will wear and where we will sleep.

For this I give thanks.